Once Upon a Time
by Hasegawa
Summary: China found Japan. Two loners become family. China loves him as a brother while Japan loves him as a lover. Pairings: Japan X CHina, Russia X CHina, mentioned : UK X china, US X UK
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This story is not mine except the plot.

Summary: mother complex.

Pairings: Japan X China, Russia X China

Enjoy! (Thank you for Farm-Story for betaing my story)  


* * *

Once upon a time, when Japan was still an infant and when China was still a young adult himself, they met. China was lonely when he came into the shady woods (and trash cans, and dark alleys) and found the small boy. His name was Nihon, or Japan. He was alone. And China was alone too. Two loners became family.

China fell in love with his little brother/ son. Nihon is his brother, his son, his family.

Japan felt awe for the bigger nation; he was graceful, beautiful, elegant, cheerful and kind.

Japan fell in love.

*****

"And listen, aru! You know how the guest wasn't supposed to enter the kitchen? He came in, aru! My boss was too afraid of him and he let him do whatever he wanted! Just because he is Russia's Ivan Braginski, the biggest nation right now! I know he is the owner of the hotel where I worked, but it's not fair, aru! And he disturbed me, harassing me, hmph! You know how I don't like people hugging me while I was cooking, don't you?"

"He hugged you?" Japan swallowed as his anger rose.

"Yes! But I kicked him! And he laughed, aru! He said he will be coming tomorrow too! Hmph! I already asked for the day off tomorrow. I don't want him to find me again, aru!" China gulped down his tea angrily, then sighed. "Kiku…"

"Yes?"

"… Is he… really bad, aru? I mean… can I think that he is… honestly… attracted to me?"

China blushed. Japan smiled, while his heart throbbed. No, no. Damn that Russia. He dominated China's complete attention. China seemed like he has his hopes up. Maybe China was starting to feel attracted to the Russian. No way. He has been in love with China way longer than that Russian started to even notice him. Japan clenched his fist underneath the table. He needed to make China forgot that damn northerner.

"No, I don't think so. You know how he is so cunning, always asking people to become with him? I think he was just playing with y… Sorry, Yao-nii. Don't cry…"

" No, aru! Who's crying?! I am not!" China pouted, pretending to be mad. But Japan could see a tear that had fallen down from his eyes. "I know he was just playing around, aru! Hmph! What a waste of time! He was making me lose concentration on my cooking, aru! Ah, I am so mad!!! Kiku, would you like another cup of tea?"

"Yes, please."

"Then I will boil the water." China stood up and left the small living room. It was a two room apartment, small, warm and comfortable. They had been living together ever since China adopted Japan. It was small, but China had worked his ass off for it. China was poor; but he kept working diligently in order to give Japan a good living. He worked 14 hours a day and 7 days a week just to make sure Japan gets the best education he could afford. China was a good cook; he had been employed in the same hotel for 15 years now. His food was good, however it wasn't enough to earn him a better living. Not that he cared. As long as Japan is happy, he was fine. That's what family's for.

Japan stared at his brother/father/first love. He was still in love with China. After all these years… how could he not? He was in the best school, receiving nutritious (although not expensive) food, living all those years with lots and lots of love from China because his brother/father/first love has been working like slave for him. He tried to help by having part-time jobs, but China always got mad whenever he found out. "You only job is to study!" China always said to him. Japan tried another way, by getting a scholarship. He persuaded China to put all the money he wanted to spend on Japan's welfare inside the bank so he would have it as a savings fund for his old days. Now he was in college, getting his bachelor degree in IT engineering. He pretended he was fine, but deep down he resented himself for making China become old so fast.

Japan followed him to the kitchen. China's sanctuary. China knew every pot, every chopstick, and every wok. He treasured every spice, every herbs, every grain of rice. China looked so happy surrendered by his treasures. Japan thought he looked the prettiest whenever he was in a kitchen.

Japan swallowed. The fragile body, the silky hair, the thin arms. Cooking heaven's delicacy. Surrounded by his treasures. He looked stunningly beautiful. No wonder Russia wanted to enter the kitchen to see China working. No wonder that Russia attracted to the beauty. Who wouldn't be?

The Russian was famous for being a player. He had all the beautiful Baltic brothers and sisters under his feet. He was good at collecting pretty things, and he knows how to get what he wants. Russia had everything and could get anything easily. Japan knew Russia was just playing around with his brother/father/first love. And worse still, China has started to show some affection for the man.

China has never dated again ever since he found Japan. It's been a long time, too long, and now he craved for another man in his bed, again. It used to be Japan, but Japan didn't count. To him, Japan is his child, and a child is different from a lover. And Japan had grown, much to China's dismay. He had a lover once, England. But the stupid moron left him for America. China was devastated and swore he would never fall in love again. Or so it seems, because in a mere 2 hours he found baby Japan in the middle of trash cans. He fell in love again.

"Kiku? Can you pass me the pot?"

"Yes, here you are."

"Thank you, aru! Ah, I have been talking non-stop about myself… how about you? How was your day today? Did you do well in your exams?"

"Yes." Japan came closer. China wouldn't know that the exam period hasn't come. For China, everyday in school is exam. China didn't get the luxury to attend school like him. He recalled China telling him that he was an orphan too, like Japan. And all he wanted was for Japan to be happy, and not be like him, uneducated. So whenever Japan told him that he got good marks, China was always so happy. He hugged him and kissed him. And Japan loved that. So he always gets good marks.

"Good! I am so proud of you!" China smiled and poured the water into the pot. "You are a genius, Kiku, aru. Bring this to the living room? I will prepare some snacks for us."

"No, it's fine. Yao-nii should just rest. I think we still have some egg tarts I bought from school cafeteria yesterday. I'll prepare it."

"Oh, thank you, aru! Those egg tarts were delicious! Kiku…" China suddenly grabbed Japan's hand and pulled him closer. Japan blushed. China was so close to him. He smiled, gently patting Japan's hair. "I just realized you have grown taller again. You are such a good boy. Do your best, OK? I would like to see you graduate. "

"…Yes, I will, Yao-nii." Japan held his breath, enjoying China's small hands on his hair. The palm was rough, unlike the rest of China's body. The proof of his hard work through the years was in his palms, from working in the kitchen. He pressed his hand against Japan's forehead.

"You are a smart boy, Kiku. I am proud. You know, I always brag about you with my workmates. They are all happy for you." China smiled proudly, leaning by Japan's chest. He was now a good head shorter than Kiku. "But now you have grown so fast… you are so big now. I am a bit sad. I kinda want you to be small forever so we can share the bed, aru."

"If Yao-nii wants it, we can sleep together today. I can buy a bigger bed if you want to." _But I can't make myself any smaller. I don't want to become small again. I want to be a bigger and stronger man for you. _

"That's awfully kind of you, but no." China sighed. "I will be waiting on the living room… oh yes, and don't waste your money buying the egg tarts again, it was lovely but you better use the money for yourself, aru."

"But I want to share the tarts with Yao-nii!"

"Ha ha. I am fine, Kiku. Thank you." China moaned. "I am so tired today… damn that Russian…"

Japan stared at the tarts on the plate. It's always like this. China never let him treat the older nation. China always says he doesn'tt need it, and Japan should buy things he wants, not what China wants. Why won't China let him treat him like how he treats him? In China's eyes he will always be the small boy by the trash can. The infant who needs to be fed and loved, not a lover who can love him back.

When he came out from the kitchen, Japan could see the joy of living together with the person he loved secretly for 15 years. China slept on the old sofa, snoring softly like a baby, curled up and peaceful. He looked so exhausted, tired, and frail even though he still managed to look pretty, stunning and elegant at the same time. The beauty that slept in front of him. China only felt at ease with him.

_Because he is his family. _

Japan bit his lips. How he wanted to make China rested and comfortable, living in luxury so he wouldn't need to lift a finger anymore. How he wanted to make China feel like he was a queen, so he wouldn't be this tired. And now, Japan felt like he understood the torture of living with your love with no chance to show his love for the older nation.

_But he wanted to be his lover. _

Japan walked over to the older man and touched his cheek gently. "_I love you,"._ He whispered secretly, "_I love you._ _Let me love you._

_Let me be your lover."

* * *

_

How is it?

Hope you like it! review?


	2. Chapter 2

_When China was small, the ceiling was tall and his mother always cried. _

"_Why don't you disappear for once, so I can forget that man?" his mother asked one day, and bought him some small dumplings. She took him to the bridge, urging him to see the depth of the river below. _

"_Look, Yao, isn't it deep? The river is full of water. Pretty, right?"_

"_Yes, ma, it's pretty." Small Yao was happy when his mother was happy. It was a rare occurrence that his mother smiled. So he smiled too. Maybe that day was the turnover day. Maybe that's the starting point of happy days in China's life._

"_Do you want to swim?"_

"_Yes, ma." It was autumn. It was cold. But his mother was happy. So he could swim. _

_The next second he was thrown down from the bridge._

_****_

_Falling, falling… calling for his mother didn't help. He tried swimming back up but it seemed the surface was too high and out of his reach. His small hands grabbed onto only water._

_Ma… Ma… _

_A hand grabbed him. A stranger's hand. He pulled him out, as China began to visualize the strange man. He had blond hair and thick eyebrows. They were both cold and shivering by the river side. _

"_Are you OK?"_

_China fell in love. The stranger saved him. _

_****_

_The stranger left him in the hospital. He went to a government orphanage. He learned how to clean in 5 days. He learned how to take care of others in 10 days. He learned how to cook for 50 people in a month. He learned to live in such a depressing world. But he wasn't depressed. He has somebody. _

_He has the stranger to dream about._

_He had a figure whom he could convince himself cared. He could imagine that person was the one sleeping with him, the one on top of him, not the panting and smelly men. _

_He promised to himself he will find the stranger someday. Then they will live together, happily ever after like in the books his mother used to read to him. He lived with a wish, different from his fellow orphan companions. _

_*****_

_He had almost given up meeting the stranger. Life outside the orphanage was harder than inside. He didn't understand why people wanted to steal his undergarments (they were cheap, not even valuable enough for resale), steal his daily belongings (everything was bought in a dollar shop; why did they want those?), take pictures of him secretly (he knew it because he felt it. They just came from everywhere), put weird stuff like liquid on his house parts such as door knobs or window (which, he learned in his childhood, was a liquid called semen) and sexually harass him (even his boss). _

_He couldn't survive another day without telling somebody about the pressure. So he went to the police station to ask for help. His room (he's gotten into the habit of moving 2 times in a month) was so messy. He didn't have anything valuable, but things were always gone. Somebody else has entered the room. He needed someone to talk to. It wasn't like he could return to the orphanage. But he need some secure feeling, just for the sake of living. _

_And he met the stranger. Just like a God's blessing for him. He met the stranger inside the police station. The stranger's name was Arthur Kirkland, a gentle policeman. The stranger was still as kind as he remembered. Arthur came to his room, helped him filled a report, and even asked China to share an apartment with him for the moment. For his security._

_Which, of course , was the joy of his life. China couldn't forget how happy he was when Arthur offer to share an apartment. It felt like the man was proposing to him to live together forever. _

_So they lived together._

_For China, it was a once in a lifetime miracle. He did everything he could to please the policeman. He did everything he could to make sure he was comfortable. He was so happy when he treated him so gently and nice. Just like lovers. China didn't believe in family in those moments because he just couldn't believe his mother left him. If family can leave you, then lovers can't, right? _

_England never touched him, he was always nice to him, he always listened to him, smiling at him. Maybe England didn't look at him like lovers, but China thought they were. _

_For England, initially, he pitied the small boy. The pretty little thing was a scared, pitiable, overly unconfident boy who loves to please people. He treated him like his brother. And they were fine. Until a night when England got drunk, he slept with the boy. _

_The boy too, was (very very very) willing to surrender his body. _

_So when he woke up, England knew he had made a big mistake. He couldn't bear the boy staring at him lovingly, expecting a morning kiss. No. he couldn't sleep with his own brother (which he violated years later since he got together with his own little cousin America, but that's not the story now and he didn't know it yet). No._

_England was silent. After a week of avoiding the small boy, he finally decided their fate. He took China for a night out, which made the boy felt like he was a prince, a loved human being. A night out! It was the first time in his life! The fairy tale ending did work! He was out with the man in his dream! Just after a week of isolation which made him insecure, England suddenly became so tender and loving! All his patience had paid off! He was getting his 'happy ending'! _

_Just to get an apology and England asking him to leave. _

_**** _

_2 hours of walking aimlessly brought China to find the small boy. _

"_So what's your name, aru?"_

"…_Kiku."_

"_Kiku? Then I shall call you Kiku, aru. My name is Yao, nice to meet you!" _

_China took his hand. Japan blushed, it was his first time. He was a boy between trash cans, and this beautiful stranger took his hand. He has no memories before that. That was the earliest memory, the sweetest memory about how he fell in love (at first sight) with China. _

****

Japan opened the door to find China putting his outdoor shoes on.

"Ah, Kiku, welcome home, aru! I am just going to the market for a quick shopping trip; we have run out of sugar and rice. I will be back soon!"

"No, let me go with you. I can help you carry the groceries."

"No, I am fine, aru! You just rest first, you just got home!"

"It's fine, Yao-nii. It's been so long since we've been out shopping together anyway."

So they walked to the nearby supermarket. China smiled all the way, chattering about his day in kitchen. It wasn't much, since kitchen is practically the only place he spent the whole day in, but for Japan it's like a nice story, as he could imagine how his China spent the day. His desire to dominate grew bigger each day. It might end up crushing China under all of the tension, but Japan just couldn't help himself.

*****

"Hmm… that's practically it, aru." China smiled when he saw what's in the shopping was filled with discounted items, small packets of rice, and sugar (cheapest brand available), "…hmmm… Ah! I know aru!!!"

China ran to the next hall where varieties of snacks filled the racks. He searched for something and smiled when he found them.

"Aiya! Here they are!" China took 2 boxes of strawberry flavored Pocky and put them in the bin. Japan was surprised.

"Pocky…?"

"Yes, aru! Your favorite snacks! You should have them since you need to study tonight! Do you need more, aru?"

"Is that for me?"

"Of course, aru. I don't eat them." China smirked. "I remember how you were almost crying when I didn't buy it for you that time. You were so cute, aru!"

"Yao-nii! That was when I was 6! I don't cry anymore!" Japan blushed. It was embarrassing, China kept remembering the only time he ever wanted something so badly. When he was 6, they went shopping and Japan saw the strawberry flavored snacks. It was like the most wonderful thing in the world, Japan wanted it so much. He wanted to ask, but he didn't want to burden China. So he stared and stared at the pinkish box; ignorant of China who eventually realized what Japan wanted.

China took the box and smiled.

"_You want this, aru?"_

"…_No."_

"_Really? Then I will put it back, aru…" _China pretended to put the box back, and saw how Japan's expression turned sad and water began to build up in his eyes. Then he smiled and took it again.

"_You want this or not, aru?"_

"…_yes, no. yes."_

"_Say it, aru. Don't mind about money, I can afford this. This wasn't that much, aru. Aiyah, you should be more childish sometimes. It's fine if you act spoiled once in a while, aru." _

"…_Yes." _

China smiled, staring at the blushing and scowling Japan beside him.

"Do you want them now, too, aru?"

"… Yes, Yao-nii."

"Hmm, good. I am glad you have learned to be spoiled, aru." China took the box. "Anyway, I want to drink something tonight, aru. I want to watch you study."

China took a bottle of Chinese wine. Japan looked at him in shock.

"Yao-nii… you drink?"

"No, I just feel like it today, aru. Just feel like it." China smiled. "So, let's pay the cashier, aru!"

Japan looked worriedly over the small man. The last time China wanted to drink was years ago, when they finally made up their mind to call the police. China was stalked by a freak, and Japan hated himself because he was too small to protect China. But they can't depend on police since China had a thing for policemen, so he wouldn't ask for any help. Japan suspected something must have happened with policemen before.

But they didn't, and in the end they moved to their current apartment.

****

China drank glass by glass. Japan stared at him worriedly. The small man didn't even blush; it seemed like the 29% alcohol was like water to China.

"Yao-nii, I think you should stop."

"Hmm? I am fine, aru! Just for today I want to drink!"

_Because that was the day he met with England again years before. Something to celebrate even when it wasn't a celebration. China had declared that day as his birthday. But today was different, because he could say to himself he was over England. He (maybe, maybe, maybe) is more attracted to Russia than England now. _

Suddenly the phone rang.

"Yes, aru?" China took the phone, signing Japan to sit down and continue studying.

Japan watched how China's face turned red; he pouted, got angry and smiled at the same time.

He knew the caller was unwanted. He asked in jealousy, "Who was that, Yao-nii?"

"Oh, that was that bastard Ivan. He asked me to go out for dinner. But I said I don't want to date him. And he laughed at me. He asked for my house address, and I told him a fake one. Good thinking, right?" China smiled dreamily. "I wonder if he's really going to go and see if I'm there… anyway, I think he was funny, aru!"

Japan clenched his teeth together.


	3. Chapter 3

Japan didn't know why he suddenly hid himself behind the stairs. China and Russia were standing in front of the door to his and China's home. He saw them together and his first instinct was to kill the Russian, but decided to pretend he wasn't there.

"Let me go, aru! This is my home, okay? Now leave me alone!"

"No coffee, da? No offer of coming in?"

"And let you get into my pants again? No, aru."

"_Again?" _Japan whispered to himself. Has China slept with the Russian?

"Come on, you know how good I am and I know how much you want me."

"… I don't want you."

"I want to lick your…"

"Shut up, aru! Kiku will be here soon and I don't want you to be here!"

"Why? Is he as pretty as you? We can have a threesome."

China looked hurt. He slapped the Russian. "Don't ever think of touching him, you bastard, aru."

Russia chuckled and decided to leave. "Fine. See you tomorrow, _Jao_."

Russia walked towards the stairs and saw the Japan, crouching down as if not to be seen. He smirked and whispered. "He is more beautiful than you. But you are a beautiful one too. "

Japan flinched and growled. He was ready to tackle the Russian when suddenly China shouted. "Get out of here, you bastard Ivan! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"Fine, _Jao_! See you tomorrow!"

China smiled at Japan. "How long have you been there?"

"… Not long."

"You saw him?"

"Yes."

China looked at him painfully. "… Come in. Don't hide behind the stairs like that. I am tired, aru."

****

"I am sorry you had to see such an embarrassing scene." China smiled apologetically while putting some rice into Japan's bowl. "He wasn't supposed to be there, he pushed me to take him back here."

"… Why?"

"… he… well, he…." China blushed. "No. Nothing. He just wanted to see where I live, aru. He is a bastard. Stop talking about it. How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, how is school? Is there an exam soon? Are your classes good?" China smiled, clasping his chopsticks. "I hope you had a good day."

But Japan wouldn't buy the cover conversation. He stared hard at China, who in turn, didn't have the courage to return the glance. "Tell me honestly, Yao-nii. What did he do to make you show our house? Did he blackmail you or something… he did, didn't he?"

Japan could read China's expression like a pro. China wasn't a man with clear facial expression, but he was always honest with the boy. So when China lied, Japan could always tell instantly.

"It was… it… was… nothing. Really."

"Yao-nii… don't you believe me?"

"I do! I mean… I … don't talk about this… please?" China smiled strangely and gulped down his tea. "Just eat your dinner and you can take the first bath today, aru."

"No! Look at me, Yao-nii! I want you to be honest! I don't want you to be blackmailed by somebody, moreover, someone like Ivan!"

China sighed. He looked down, but he started to talk. "Sorry… it was… well, today was… bad. I saw… uhm… England, aru. He was eating in the restaurant and he called me because he wanted to congratulate the chef for the good dinner. He didn't know it was me, either. So I saw him. And he was with… uhm…. America. And uhm… I heard… they were celebrating their… 10th anniversary. And I… uh… sad, a bit, and… aru… I … cried. No, I mean, I wasn't feeling well, aru."

China grabbed the chopsticks tighter. "Then… aru… he saw me and… I was… really lonely, aru… so… when he kissed me… I … I was… ngg… aru. I let him do me. And… uhm… he said if I don't want to be fired because I slept with the boss, I needed to let him take me home, aru."

Japan rushed to the slender nation. China grabbed the arms around him and sobbed. "Sorry, aru. I am not lonely now because you are here, but I couldn't find you in the restaurant, so I then that made me feel alone, aru. Sorry."

"Hush. It's fine. Yao-nii, you are fine. You have me now."

"I know… that's why I feel guilty. I am sorry, aru."

"Why?" Japan kissed the sobbing nation on his forehead. "Tell me everything, Yao-nii."

"I thought… well, I was arrogant, aru. I thought… he did like me, Ivan did want me… I mean, aru… he always came to see me… but then… he asked about you, and you are pretty, aru… and I realized he was just like some other bastards. He just wants my body, aru. I am sorry. I shouldn't have been jealous of you, aru."

Japan kicked his own ass when he heard that. That confirmed China did have some feelings for the Russian. That confirmed China only looked at him like a brother. That confirmed he won't have a chance being China's lover.

It hurt him.

He grabbed China's body tighter. He didn't want to be a mere brother. He wanted to have the right to console the sobbing Asian, to take him to bed and caress him until China forgot everything, with Japan and only Japan in his mind. He could feel China was hurting inside and all Japan could do was say its fine, and everything would be all right?

Japan couldn't take that.

That's why he kissed the sobbing Asian. On the lips. Hard.

****

When China woke up, Japan was gone. He clutched the blanket and sobbed.

He was raped by his own brother. He slept with his own son. He … he ruined everything.

Yesterday night was a nightmare. Japan tied him down and made love to him despite China's pleading and screaming. Japan was crying. He shouted his love to China over and over again. He said he wasn't his child anymore, he is Japan now, a man. Japan wanted him to become his lover.

It wasn't the worst. The worst was the next morning, when China found nobody beside him by the morning. Japan was gone. Russia was only playing with him and England definitely wouldn't come back.

China sobbed. He did, sometimes, dream that England would come back to him and ask him to marry him. He thought Russia was a fine man and was in love with him. China did dream, sometimes, about his own Prince Charming and somehow wished Russia was the one for him. All the years he had been sleeping alone made him weak. Japan was the only one there, and China thought it was fine, since Japan was the best boy ever. But now Japan said he loves him and didn't want to be a son. He wants to be his lover.

China hates being alone. But he couldn't help it now; he was alone.

So much for the family he thought he had. All his life he has been alone. Apparently his parents were right to abandon him; China wasn't supposed to be there, alive. All his hard work, support and effort… all he wanted was just for Japan to stay with him. He loves Japan, but not in the lover kind of sense, because he knows lovers won't stay. Family will.

But apparently he was wrong. All along, he was the only one afraid of being alone.

*****

"_Jao_, can I come tonight?" Russia smirked to the smaller nation. China was cooking in silence. He wasn't very cheerful that day, his co-workers took notice. They were all worried but they were satisfied with the smile China gave whenever he was asked. China never shared feelings; he always said how wonderful his Japan was, and never said anything else about himself. So when in the morning China came into the room like he was dead, everybody was worried, but none of them bothered to care much.

Russia came as usual, to tease the beauty. China's coworkers were torn between risking their career and warning Russia or letting the Russian tease poor China. Maybe China would cheer up if Russia teased him. So they chose the second option.

China looked back at Russia. Russia stopped smiling. China wasn't even pretty anymore. He looked dead. Pale and dejected.

"… As you wish." China whispered. "So can you please leave me alone now, aru?"

"… did you cry, da?" Russia gently touched China's cheek. His soft side was playing. He just couldn't refuse to save a damsel in distress. "Did you cry yourself to sleep?"

"…."

"Was it because of yesterday?" Russia whispered. China was silent, continuing cooking his dish. He just wanted everything to end. All China wanted to do was to get drunk; but he was working, and it was his responsibility as a good chef. So he came to work. But then, he forgot how Russia would be there, always there to disturb him.

Russia thought about yesterday. The sex was very memorable. China wasn't shy to moan so deliciously. China's tongue was heaven and China's entrance was… everything. It was so numbing. Some of the best sex Russia ever had..

"Hey… what happened? You quarreled with your son? Or you met with your ex again?"

When China heard the word 'son', he started sobbing. He used his hand to stop the tears, but he just couldn't. Russia felt pity for him and took him out of the kitchen. China struggled, but in the end he let go. It's no point of rejecting the tall man when he wanted to do something.

"Hush, it's fine." Russia whispered, cuddling the small nation in his office. "It's fine. Tell me what happened."

_Tell me what happened. _China remembered Japan told him that and the next thing he knew; he was being raped by his only family member. So this time, China shut his mouth. He looked at the taller man. Handsome, purple eyes and silver hair. His used-to-be Prince Charming. … Why not? Russia was playing with him, so it's better to use the Russian too.

He needed something to make him forget. Something preferably mind-numbingly good.

*****

Russia opened the door for him. China muttered a quick thank you, and started into the building without inviting the Russian inside. Russia followed without invitation, starting to care. He just couldn't let go. China was one of best partners he ever had. The sex now was purely sex, with nothing to give and nothing to get. China didn't want any lingering commitment, which was a tad unusual for the Russian. Usually he needed to woo the woman and man in his bed to sleep/leave him.

China, on the other hand, was feeling fine. Everything was fine after the sex. He was thankful to the skillful Russian, but that's it. No more hope, no more feelings, no more believing. China knew better now. He should get used to the loneliness. And the lying.

So when the Russian followed him up, he turned around and kicked him.

"Go home, aru."

"Aw, that's cold, da!" He laughed as his expression turned serious. "No, Jao. I want to see your home. We could have coffee, at the least?"

"No. I don't have coffee to offer. You don't like tea. So scram."

"I don't mind tea, da."

"Should I spell it out for you, aru? I am poor; I have no good quality tea for you, aru. I only have cheap, 1 dollar tea. You wouldn't like it. I am telling you to go, aru. Thank you for today, I was really grateful. But that's it." China smiled, then kissed Russia's cheek (after considerably balancing on his toes). "Good night, aru."

Russia held the Asian man closer. China tried to free himself when he suddenly looked back to see Japan was standing, paled and shocked.

"Kik…"

"I came back to see you, but … You chose him, didn't you?" Japan shouted, crying. China pushed Russia away, running to the boy he adopted. His only family.

"NO, aru!" China grabbed Japan tightly, refusing to let go. "Don't go!!! Aru, stay, please. Please. Just don't leave me."

"Yao-…"

"You want me to be your lover? Fine! But don't go… don't go… please, aru?" China sobbed into Japan's shirt. "Don't leave me alone… Kiku." Don't leave him alone anymore.

Japan wants his body? Fine. Japan wants to sleep with him? Fine. Japan wants to kiss him? Fine. But don't leave him. China didn't want to be left alone again. Japan was the only thing he chose himself, so he wouldn't want Japan to go.

Japan awkwardly held back. China had never felt so frail in just one day. The arms which grabbed him so tightly were trembling. And he could feel China was crying into his shirt. He had made the person he loves so much so sad. Shame on him.

"Sorry, Yao-nii… I won't leave you anymore."

China nodded while still burying his face inside Japan's chest. Russia saw the whole scene and cursed himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Russia knew he was being used. He knew the Chinese weren't thinking of him when they were doing it. It was fine by him, because all he wanted was just to play. Sex is just some kind of sport, nice and good.

So why when he saw China pushed him just to hug another man made him felt so… depressed?

Russia scowled. The smaller naked man on top of him, Torris, came.

"Get off me." Russia sighed.

"But… Ivan-sama… You haven't come yet."

"Because you are not good enough, da." Russia blamed it on the pretty boy. Torris started to cry. Russia sighed. He smiled and shoved his vodka to the pretty boy's mouth. "I'll give you a new condo, so stop crying."

Torris nodded, still sobbing, but started to put on his clothes.

Russia stared at the ribbon. It was China's hair tie. China left it on his office the other day without even realizing it. Funny now it seemed like the most important thing inside his mansion. Russia sighed. After that night, China never looked at him anymore. China didn't look as happy as he used to, but at least the beauty persisted.

"_Why should I waste time with you when I have somebody perfectly happy waiting for me, aru?" _China asked him when Russia teased the smaller nation. "_Why should I waste time for a game I know I would never benefit from? I don't want to risk anything anymore. I am happy just the way it is now, aru." _

"_But I could say you don't like being his lover, da … I mean, he was your son, once."_

China looked sad. Oh, the beauty. "_being his lover is better than being left alone, aru."_

"_That's not love, you know, da." _

"_I know." _ China smiled sadly. "_I am trying to tell myself it's love. I love him. I just need to shift if from family to lover. I can do that."_

Russia never thought China was so beautiful.

****

"Was I good?" Japan asked softly to the almost sleeping China beside him. China nodded.

"Uhm. You were good, aru."

"Can I… have more?" Japan blushed. He just couldn't get enough of China.

"No, not tonight, please." China smiled softly. "I am … tired aru. I need to work tomorrow too."

"I thought tomorrow is your off day."

"… No. I shift with other chef. I will get mine next week, aru."

"… What if you just stop? Why don't you resign?"

"…aru?"

"I can work for us both. I had already working in internship. I had my salary and I can support both of us. So please stay home? Be a full time house wife?"

"I am a man, aru, I…"

"This is the time you stop working hard and enjoy, Yao. I don't want to see you drag yourself each morning just to wake up and go to work. I want you to enjoy a day with no worry, just staying home and do what you like. Or go to spa."

"Kiku… I love cooking, aru. I never go to spa; it's too much luxury for me. I … just…"

"That's why. You should, Yao. You should enjoy your day, just for you and for nobody else."

"… I never stop working because I need it, aru. Kiku, I need to work. Otherwise I am not me. I …"

"No, you just afraid if you stop nobody will stay by you. You work hard because you wanted to be needed. But that's not how it goes, Yao. A person needs to balance between work and play."

"You sounded like England, aru. You are not even my…." _Lover. _China almost said it. He swallowed. "… You are not my father, aru."

"Just think about it."

"No, aru." China smiled. "I am tired, let's stop. I need to work…"

" You still think I am not your lover, right?" Japan growled. China sighed.

"No, aru, it's really about work! I couldn't stand if you do it too… No!"

Japan grabbed China's penis and stroked it. They were nude from their previous session, and Japan could easily slip his fingers into China's entrance. China blushed and moaned.

"Nnn! No, Ki… ku… nghh…"

"I am not satisfied. I will make you stay at home tomorrow." Japan smiled like a child. "I won't let you go, Yao~!" Japan kissed China's neck over and over.

China felt ticklish and he laughed. "No! aru, you become so naughty, who taught you? I never taught you like this!"

"Yes, you did. You showed me how precious you are to me."

China stopped smiling. "… really?"

"Yes."

It was the first time he heard somebody calling him precious. China was happy. Very happy. That's why he needed to stay like this. To make himself belief that he loves Japan. Because Japan thought of him as precious, like no one does.

*****

"Sorry."

Japan looked apologetically at resting Yao. Yao grinned.

"It's fine, aru. I am really fine, just couldn't move."

"I have overdid it yesterday… sorry, Yao."

"No, it's fine, aru. Just go to uni. I'll be fine. You worry too much, aru." China smiled. "Oh yes, you did too much. I couldn't even move now, aru."

"I promise I will return early and help you massage you." Japan kissed China's lips lightly. "I am going first, Yao."

"Uhn. Be careful."

The door was closed. China sighed. He knew he was good at pretending. All his live he had been pretending he was happy. So this time he could make it too.

China scolded himself. He wasn't pretending to be happy. He was happy, really with Japan who treasured him so much. He was happy. He should be happy.

Then the door opened again.

"Kiku? Is that you? Did you forget something?" China shouted, readied himself if Japan decided to enter the room, but what he saw wasn't the sweet Asian boy he lived with for years. Instead, standing by the door was a certain tall Russian with silver hair and purple eyes and his distinctive scarf.

"Jao; I am here, da. You surprised?"

"Should I?" China sighed, looking away. "Why are you here? How do you even get in?"

"I am your boss, da."

"So boss nowadays gets the special right to barge into their employee's house?" China scowled. "What do you want, aru?"

"I get the key from your apartment owner. It seemed they thought you were a pretty woman all along, a single mother. Anyway, I said I am your husband, da."

"… Why did you say that lie?"

"I am not lying. I want to be your husband."

"Keep on dreaming. I have a perfectly kind family who can make me feel happy, aru." China pretended he was sleep talking. "And I am a man."

"You are pretty and feminine enough to be woman, da. And you don't feel happy. You feel obliged to be happy because Nihon—Kiku, he is your only family, da."

"Yes, he is my only family so what, aru?" China hissed. "Just go."

"But you know how a son couldn't marry his own father. Or are you brothers?"

"We are not blood related. He is my adopted son. Satisfied? Now, go aru."

"You don't feel like its incest? Anyway, he couldn't make you happy. I can. I can give you everything you ask. I can buy you a bigger house, I can make sure you live in luxury all of your life. I can make sure you get everything you want. So be with me."

"… and be your mistress? I am sorry, aru, I don't want to be mistresses. I know how hard it was to be one and I think you can't give me what I want. So scram, aru."

"What? So you want me to make you my wife? Until you become a woman, it's impossible, da."

"That's why I know and stop dreaming, aru. I won't become a happy bride. And just for your information, my mother was a mistress herself and she wasn't happy. I watched her broken down until in the end she threw me by the river. I was saved by a passerby, while literally left to die by the bank of river. And here I am. So I don't want to be a mistress and I want to have my family to live with. So beat it, aru."

"Jao… I mean… Fine. I won't make you my mistress. Just be my lover, da."

"I have Kiku for that. He is perfect, aru. We only did twice, so scram."

"You know how I always get what I want, Jao."

"And you will know that there is something in the world that you couldn't get aru. You don't want me. You just like the sex. You like the sex with me because I don't want anything from you except the did. I don't want you, that's why you want me aru. And I know your type, since I had been with many. You will ditch people when you have lost interest on them aru. I don't like you. So scram, or I'll call police aru."

"Jao…"

"Don't try me. I knew many stalkers and how to get rid of them. So shut up and go aru."

"Were there many? Stalkers, I mean."

"I wasn't blessed with security, aru. And my face and built didn't help either. I am the perfect stalking object aru. Satisfied?"

"Jao…"

"HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT UNTIL I CRY? Do you want me to hate you now, aru? Get out!!!!" China threw the pillows. "I am trying to be happy here so just go! You stupid stalker, stupid boss, stupid man who always causes unhappiness for your women…. Stupid man like you shouldn't be permitted to have any love at all! GO!!!"

But Russia wasn't Russia if he couldn't get what he wanted. And the more China yelled, the more he became aroused. He was a masochist. And he always gets what he wanted.

He pinned down the Asian man easily and had his way with him until China passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

WOHOOOO

I am back from holiday~!

merry christmas and happy new year!

* * *

Japan didn't know what to do anymore.

China had refused everything. It's been 3 days since then. China was down with high fever; refusing food and drinks, rejecting to go to hospital and always said that he would be fine soon. He refused to talk although it was clear something was bothering him.

"Yao… come on, please eat this porridge. I know this isn't as delicious as the one you made for me, but you need to eat."

"Thank you, aru… I am fine, really. I don't have appetite right now. I promise tomorrow I'll be fine."

China was pale and lifeless. He didn't know why. All Japan knew was when he went back home that day, China was sleeping. When he woke up, China refused to talk and vomited yesterday's dinner.

Since then he was sick with high fever.

Japan sighed and took his seat beside his beloved lover.

"Yao… what happen? Tell me."

"…the last time I told you, you raped me." China scowled. Japan paled and fell silent. He suddenly felt an overwhelming embarrassment and guilt. He kowtowed in front of China.

"I am really sorry! I didn't mean it, I was…"

"Stop it, please, aru. It's fine, aru. I am not angry. I.. I am sorry too. I am not in the mood to talk. … let me rest, please."

China looked away and pulled the blanket over his head. Japan fall into the pit of hell (literally).

*****

But eventually the fever ceased and China regained his strength. After a week, China was back with his energy (although not with his cheerfulness). But it looked like China didn't want to go to work.

"Can I stop working?" China suddenly asked when they were having their dinner. "I mean… can I change my workplace? I don't think I want to work there any longer, aru."

"Why?" Japan stopped eating. It was strange that China wanted to stop working in that hotel. He has been working there for 15 years; china himself said that it was the best workplace for him because nobody ever did any sexual assault (aside from Russia; that is) to him. He felt safe there, and he had been working with the same team for years now. Chances are, something did happen with somebody from that hotel that day.

Maybe… Russia?

"I feel… bad. I couldn't stand too long these days. I kept feeling dizzy, aru." China was searching for excuse. He felt bad for the sudden selfish plead he made. It wasn't the first time, although times when China being selfish could be counted by one hand. Yet, he still felt bad about it. It was his problem, but he made Japan worried. "But it's fine. I think I can make it. Anyway, I will retire soon." China smiled. "Ah, forget it, aru! Let's eat!"

"… Yao… are you sure you are fine?"

"Yes, I am very hao, aru~." China tried his best to look energetic. "I am fine, Kiku. You don't worry, aru."

But Japan has already worried beyond China's expectation.

*****

He felt like a mouse coming into a cat's den. China tried his best to look good, but the moment he stepped into the hotel, Russia eyed him from the end of the hall. China ran, automatically. He was used to stalker in Ivan's level. He needed to run, and China was good in it.

When he entered the kitchen, all his workmates looked weirdly at the petite Chinese. It had been a week, and they heard that he was down with fever. True enough, the Chinese man's face was paler than usual.

"Please." Suddenly China spoke in the kitchen, to nobody in particular, "Please don't let Mr. Ivan found me here." China sounded like pleading for his life.

Everybody gulped down. China sounded so desperate, yet… intriguing.

So when Russia entered the kitchen, nobody talked when they were asked about Yao's whereabouts. China himself was safe tucked inside the cupboard, with his small figure and everything, he was fitted into the store cupboard until Russia was gone.

Russia scowled. He was ready to apologize. But it seemed China didn't want to listen… or to see him.

****

"Thank you for today." China smiled to the whole kitchen staff. They smiled back, and they chatted while cleaning the kitchen. Suddenly Japan came into the room and smiled.

"Yao… I am here to fetch you."

"…Kiku, aru? Why are you here?" China was surprised; Japan suddenly came in and walked towards him.

Japan grabbed China's arm protectively and bowed to the whole staff. "Thank you very much for always helping Yao." Japan spoke out. "I am very indebted to all of you."

"Kiku? What are you talking, aru?" China was blushing, never expecting his _son _to thank the whole staff like that. His workmates grinned and smiled, thinking how good China's (supposed) son was.

"I am here to fetch you, Yao. I want to take you out tonight. So…. I will wait until you finish."

"I am almost finished, aru." China sighed. "Just wait."

But as expected, the whole staff urged China to leave, since they could take care of the rest. Cleaning wasn't much, they said. China was rushed by them to leave.

*****

"How was the movie, Yao?"

"It was awesome, aru~! It was my first time ever inside a cinema! That was so touching yet so good… I feel so good right now! The picture was so big, aru~! And the air conditioner was so cold…" China was filled with awe. He just couldn't stop blabbering about what he felt inside the cinema. His first time in a cinema, a new experience for him.

Japan smiled. He succeeded in making China forgot his problem. Next he would take China to a wonderful dinner for two, in a Japanese restaurant. He hoped China will cheer up and get better.

But when they were seated nicely and their food came, China started to get gloomier and gloomier.

"Yao… do you not like the food?" Japan asked softly, nudging the white hands of China's.

"… No, it's really good, aru." China answered weakly. Japan felt something was wrong (again). But China didn't talk anything, like he was waiting for Japan to say something.

"Yao… what are you waiting?"

China stared at his plate, and then Japan. "… if you want to leave me, its fine. I am alright being alone."

Japan was stunned. "Yao! I never want to leave you! What is this all about?"

"… The last time somebody took me to a dinner out they asked me to leave. So if you ask me to leave too, I will." China suddenly stood up. He was crying. "I am sorry to be such a bother. Don't worry about giving me good dinner. I am not hungry anymore."

"Yao!" Japan pulled China back to his seat. "I am not leaving you or anything! I just want you to enjoy yourself tonight! I get my payment today!"

China was sobbing silently. "I am sorry," he whispered. "I get too emotional about this. I have no good memory about dinner out, aru. I am sorry."

"… would you tell me about it? I promise I won't rape you, Yao."

"No! I mean, I believe you, Kiku. I don't think you will rape me anymore, aru. We are… lovers, aren't we? But my last lover… England, he asked me to leave after took me into this kind of fancy restaurant… maybe I am getting old. I mixed you up with him. Sorry, aru."

Japan realized there were stuff about his beloved China that he never knew. China never told him about his past either; he only knew some general stuff, but never details. Now he had chosen the worst place to cheer China up. He felt ridiculously failed as a lover.

"No, I am the one who should be sorry, Yao. I didn't know." Japan whispered, clutching Yao's hand inside his. "Could you please tell me everything? So I know the perfect way to make you happy."

"You don't need to, aru. You already make me happy." China smiled, stop sobbing. _You did, Kiku. You did make me happy when you were still my small Kiku. When you were still my family. Now… I don't know anymore._

"… I love you, do you love me?" Japan suddenly asked. "do you love me?"

"… I do, aru. I can like the way you want me to, I think."

The answer made Japan flinched. He didn't want China to love him out of obligation. He wanted China to love him out of love.

"… one thing." Japan spoke out. "one thing, Yao. Why… why did you take me? You weren't in great condition and we both were homeless. You will be better off without having another life to support. Why did you take me?"

"… I fell in love with you, aru." China smiled. "I did. That night I was thrown away from my own dream. England left me. I started to realize lover wouldn't stay. Then… maybe again, family will. And I saw you. I fell in love. I want you as my family. I took you in. Because I hate being alone."

China continued. "We were the same. We have no one. Why not we become someone for each other? So I took you in. But you see; we were different. You have love as over for me. I have love as family to you. But I think i can love you the way you want me to. I am a selfish human. I want to tie you down with me so you'll never leave. I am a filthy person. So, Kiku… I think you need to realize… I might never love you the way you want me to. I am not the perfect person you think I am, aru. I am not a good guy; I am dirty beyond your imagination, Kiku. I hope you understand, although I want to tie you up with me, you deserved better. Many are better than me. You need to think over again, aru."

The atmosphere turned into awkward silent. China smiled. "Let's eat first, aru. We don't want to waste these food, right, Kiku?"

Japan nodded, while he was actually walking inside his mind, searching for an answer to answer China. But he just couldn't. Maybe he needed time. Maybe they needed time.

And then, Russia and Belarus came into the restaurant. 


	6. Chapter 6

Russia saw the beauty. China was seated in a seat that backed the entrance, so he couldn't see Russia came in.

His heart skipped a bit. _Was it a dream? _Unconsciously, he went nearer and grabbed China's delicate shoulder. China was surprised when suddenly a big strong hand clutched his shoulder almost painfully. He looked up to see the worst man was holding his shoulder.

"…I…van…"

"Jao." Russia smiled, his sadistic self played, "I see you are having a nice dinner with your son, da."

Japan stopped eating and recognized the big man. He scowled and readied himself for a fight. "Let him go, Ivan Braginski."

"Ah, your _small _pet is barking at me, Jao." Russia smirked. "You should train him better."

China was pale, and he trembled. Cold sweat ran his back. The touch was too much; it reminded China of how rough, scary, sad, and bad the last time Russia touched him. And that reminded China of how many men before that had defiled him. Men like Russia; cold, rough and terrifying, touched him all over and pushed him down.

And he saw England's face.

No. No. No.

"K…Kiku… Help… me…"

China's plead was blinding the Japanese. All he knew was to protect (his lover) and to fulfill (his brother first wish ever) and to kick (the ass of a certain Russia who made China sounded that desperate). So the next moment, Japan landed on the big Russian with his fist kissing the Russian's big nose.

"KYAAA~!!!" Belarus screamed, looking at what happened. Her Russia-sama was down under a small Asian man, with their fist held out together. A certain restaurant's manager came down to help. By the end of the fighting session, both Japan and Russia were holding their nose (they are bleeding!) and stared at each other hostile-ly.

"YoU!" It was Belarus who first screamed; "You will regret what you have done to Russia-sama!!! Russia-sama, are you OK?"

"I am fine." Russia wiped out his blood and clutched the chair. He might be losing against a small thing like Japan, but he had his purpose. He still wanted to touch the other Asian, the one who was paled and trembling inside his own chair. "Jao…"

"Don't touch him!!!" Japan shouted, the first time in his life. He took China's bag, pulled China's hand, and grabbed the shoulder protectively. "Let's go home. I'll pay in front."

The manager of the restaurant (A/N: a certain Asian man with expressionless face with some firecrackers—for self protection purposes—hiding inside his formal blazer. Guess who) nodded.

"Jao…" Russia whispered something that sounded so pitiful yet envying Belarus, "…don't go."

But China was already away from the place; ignorant of everything except the fact that he was saved from everything, because he didn't want to think anything anymore ever again.

*****

"What did you see in him?"

The question sent Russia into a deep thought. Well, Belarus was waiting with her hand folded in front of her, she rather looked like some kind of death God. But Russia was still thinking. And he stared at Belarus, making the girl blushed and calmed down, thinking that Russia-sama was watching her, when actually Russia was comparing her to the Asian who captured his… mind (?) for the last three weeks.

Hair. That's a start. Belarus' hair was wavy, golden and looked soft with curls on its end. China's hair was… straight, black and shiny. Soft, not just looked soft because of hair treatments. China's hair was smooth because he was born with it. Natural.

Eyes. The Baltic siblings who warmth his bed every night had different colors; by standard, everyone of them had pretty eyes. Green, Blue, Hazel, Amethyst. Color was pretty. But China? His was golden.

Golden just like his skin. They (Russia and the Baltic-s) all had white, dull and transparent skin. China, as an Asian, had golden skin. Despite the work, he was always inside a kitchen, and that's why China was whiter (by Asian standard) than other.

The moan. Other slept with him with calculated moans. With China, the moans were free. China was moaning for himself, not for Russia. China was enjoying himself, not trying to delight the Russian. China was simply thinking of himself and not trying to please, unlike his other escorts.

The act. He knew China wasn't amateur in sex. He could feel how actually China knew how to make the pain into desire. Maybe he was used to painful sex and the only way to get over it was to make it better. So Russia wanted to make China understood that there was some other thing beside pain which could be gained by the act.

Emotional attachment. They need him, so he took them in. China didn't need him, so he needed China. Diabolical sick joke.

It was 180 degree different from what he usually has. He couldn't find curves like Belarus's. He couldn't find seductive eyelashes like Lithuania's. He couldn't find the passion he likes inside China. He actually found nothing in the Chinese's body.

Maybe that's why. Maybe he wanted to have some kind of feelings from the small nation. Just because China never looked at him properly, Russia wanted him. Because Russia wanted to make the Chinese looked at him and see… what he actually missing when he was inside Russia's arms.

*****

Small pet.

He was just a small pet. In Russia's eyes he was just a small pet. But this small pet had punched the Russian on his nose. Good job. Japan sighed while patting Yao's blanket.

Yao refused to talk again and went into his silent. He was like a clamp who will hide inside its hard shell when something goes wrong. Maybe it was fine, since China was too soft, just like the clamp. When something hurts him, all he could do was to hide until he wasn't hurt anymore.

Japan knew he loves this part of China. The part that always pretended he was strong while actually China was no stronger than any abandoned child out there. He loves the part of China who always tries to love everybody despite his own shortage of affection. He loves the part of China who actually weak enough to ask his help.

_Kiku, help me._

He knew he shouldn't be gloating on the statement but Japan was really proud when he heard it. Finally, China did ask his help. Maybe he had graduated from being a small trash can boy into a dependable adult. Japan knew he couldn't calculating too much by thinking China has accepted him as his lover, but at least now China asked his help, and that showed how actually China was depending on him.

He was a trash can baby; he wouldn't care more for his true parents. He was happy enough to have China as his family (and lover). China had given him everything a child would ask for; not the luxury but the attachment. China gave on something that was lack from his own. China gave Japan a wonderful childhood and a good upbringing, unlike his own.

Japan knew he was being ridiculous. He knew he was waving on a weak thread. But how could he not? He was in love with this small beauty for more than half of his lifetime.

When they first took a bath together, he was embarrassed because he didn't know where to put his eyes. China rubbed his back and humming some songs, which Japan eventually learnt, was a song from China's own childhood. China smiled and hugged him while they were taking bath together (to conserve water) but for the small boy it was like a shower of love.

They slept together for years. The warmth was more than any heater they had used ever since. Initially, China was too poor even to have an electric heater, so they used the gas, conserving it as much as they could and slept against each other in thick blankets. China always said he was glad Japan was warmer than any blanket because small children have higher temperature. But it was sad that after he graduated from junior high school, he could no longer share the same bed with China. Partly due to adolescence hormone, and partly due to embarrassment. And he knew how that made the Chinese felt lonely.

Cooking was another matter. China never let him get near to the kitchen for safety reason. Japan didn't want to come in either, because it was China's sanctuary. China once told him he could forget everything when he was cooking. And cooking was part of him. China was cooking ever since he could remember. So by cooking he was trying to fry, steamed and braised everything. It wasn't like that initially. China wasn't fond of cooking. But years of cooking and when it proofed to be the best method to earn money, China started to like it.

He knew how people branded China as a beautiful (man/ woman) petite. He knew how people always judged him by his appearance. He knew people like China because he is small, pretty, delicate, beautiful, and everything that made China looked like he was perfect.

Japan could proudly say he loved the downside of China. He loves the weak, scared, lonely and unconfident China underneath those surfaces. He knew China the most and he would be the one China knows for the rest of his life.

He knew he loves Yao. He didn't need any more reasons to reason the situation. What he need was to make China understood what he meant. All he needs to do was to make Yao understand his love.

He loves him. He does.

*****

* * *

A/N: I am very happy about the review XD.

Now I am going to explain something that you asked:

1. China spoke in broken English because I want to show that he was uneducated (but mostly because my incompetent in English language).

2. I put the second chapter there because I just realized I skipped the whole chapter when I was uploading (I was using public service). And no I don't know how to move it. Tell me?

3. Grammar error/ spelling error are all mine. Disclaimer.

4. Shamefully (eeheheheheh *hiding behind the sofa*) I am afraid of harsh critique. I mean, telling me my grammar is so bad was fine (as long as it is soft~). But once I have a commenter said I have no talent in writing. That; I found very very impolite.

5. Poverty was hard to explain in one paragraph. I expected people get it straight away (for reader who read my stories, they will know I never good in details). I am sorry because I confused you. Poverty was different for people. There are levels of poverty, but China and Japan poverty here was… uhm… like conserve everything? Eat meat once a week? Discounted stuffs are good as long as it doesn't make stomachache?

6. Thank you for the reviews and I want some more in the future. (everybody, I love you! And uhm, sorry, just a fan letter here… Dream of Destiny, I love your Half a Millennium story to death. I kicked myself—and get kicked by my friend who was more worried about my exam than me—when I spent the whole day reading despite tomorrow's practical final exam. When I saw your review –extra long one too—I was ecstatic. But for all my other reader *like 454g and Lll—I know you from 'Hong Kong' story* I am also indebted…. Wohooo~!!! This is my first time doing Japan X China. Though initially I did want it to be Russia X China.) and I love girly ! angst China.

7. Help me chose whether JXC is better or RXC is better. Thank you very much!


	7. Chapter 7

Happy new year! Enjoy!

* * *

Belarus wasn't Belarus if she couldn't control everything about his Russia-sama.

In a week, Japan noticed the different. His workloads were lessened, his proposals were rejected, and today, his boss suddenly asked him to resign.

"But why?" he was an intern; he wasn't even supposed to resign himself. He had done a good job; everybody knew that, they got a very important client because of him.

"because… I don't know what happen between you and the company's leaders, but now… they pressured me to fire you. I don't want to let you go without a recommendation letter as you might find difficulties searching other job, so it's better if you resign yourself and I can give you the best recommendation letter ever." His boss, France, sighed.

"… can I think about it first?"

"…yes. Just be quick." France smiled wryly.

*****

Japan stared at the bottle. A bottle of sake wasn't enough. He bought 5. He just didn't understand why people drunk when they got problem. He drank the first bottle without result. Just some warmth went down his throat, that's all. He preferred a China in his arm.

"I am home… aru? What happened?" China asked his brother—no, lover, worriedly, when he saw his son—no, lover, drunk a bottle of sake. Japan never touched alcohol. Never in front of him.

"Yao… welcome… home." Japan looked like he had lost his ability to produce coherent speech. He waved lazily at the incoming Chinese. "Welcome… home."

His first instinct (and what he did) was to hold the Japanese. He kissed Japan's temple gently, rocked him front and back softly. "Hugh, aru… hush… hush…. Hmmm… " China whispered some lullaby by the Japanese's ear. "Hush… It's fine, Kiku. It's fine."

"Yao… Yao…. I AM NOT a Child… AnyMOre…" Japan tried to push the smaller man away. But China was stronger than the drunken him.

"I know… hush… its' fine, Kiku. It's fine, aru."

"Yao… What did I do wrong?" Japan buried his head inside his lover's arms. "I didn't do anything wrong, I was good… but suddenly they want me to resign… what… did I do wrong?"

The failure to be the independent mature adult that China could depend on made the worst of everything. He felt like a failure, Japan was. He felt like he was unqualified to bring China a good life. If he couldn't even keep a job for more than 2 months, how he gonna make China happy? He was a new employee. He was new in working world. A failure will crumbled every confident he had. And he had his pride, just like any other Japanese.

"I don't think you were wrong, Kiku. It's fine. It's not your fault, aru."China whispered, patting the short hair. "It's fine. It's fine. I am here, everything gonna be fine. Life is not this hard …aru. Maybe."

So when Japan asked him to help him forget everything, China gently took him to bed and made love to him until Japan passed out from tiredness and satisfaction, leaving China wondered through the night with the Japanese sleeping in his arms.

What happened? Who did it to his little Kiku? China was furious. And he thought he knew quite what happened.

******

"I despite a man like you the most, aru." China opened the door of his boss' room. Russia was seated nicely between documents, laptop and glass of vodka coffee. He was surprised when he saw who was coming into his room uninvited, but he was more surprised on what he was calling him.

"You bastard, you play dirty and you used everything you can… I might not a mighty man like you, I am not rich like you, I have nothing but my Kiku. But I will do everything, everything I can to protect him. I want to kill you now, aru. And I am capable of it. Trust me, aru. I have nothing to lose."

"Wow, wow… da. Wait. What do you mean?"

"Don't pretend to be innocent, you fool. You bastard, if you did anything to him I am going to really kick your ass. And I meant it." China slammed the door behind him. "…aru. I hate you."

Russia stood straight away, ran to the door, opened it in a speed of light and caught the arm of angry China.

"Wait, Jao. I said WAIT! da."

"What?" China turned back, face flushed from anger.

"How did you find me here, da?"

"I asked, aru! Do you think I am that stupid, aru!?" China scowled, while Russia turned around and saw his body guards; people who supposed to guard the door, looked away. It seemed like China's beauty charmed them into opening the door.

"And what did I do until you angry like this, da?"

"You made Kiku's boss fired him! You bastard aru, pretending…"

"Listen, Jao, I did nothing! I didn't even know where he worked …" Wait. Russia flinched. He didn't, but maybe Belarus knew. Shit. "… maybe I didn't know, but…"

"I don't care you know or not, but it will be always your fault, aru! You damn player!"

"Why is it all my fault? I didn't do anything, da?!" Russia's anger started to rise. "I maybe a player, but I am always serious, da!"

"Because of people like you, people like me are born every day! So everything is your fault, aru!"

"I don't want to take the blame. I didn't make anything until you can angry at me like this, Jao. I might be wrong when I took you without your consent another day, but…"

Then he got a new idea. "Fine. I might be blamed like this. You can blame me for everything, da." Russia smiled his authentic kolkolkol's. "But if you kill me nothing will be gained, Jao. Your Kiku won't be saved. So it's time to make a deal, da?"

"Wha….what aru? Are you asking me now to make a deal with you? So you will stop harassing Kiku?"

"Yes. I will stop if you do what I want, da? It will be a good deal, I promise."

Russia didn't really know what happen, but as chance passed along, he will use it to his likings. China is in his hand, he could save that Japan brat (what a small fish for a big one like China?) and everything will be under controlled. He could own China and get rid of the small Japan.

China was pale and calculating. He could take the deal, and while he knew the deal won't be as fun as it will for Russia, he still could do that. All for Japan's sake.

"… Fine. Promise me you get Japan out of this in the future, aru."

Russia smiled his innocent smile. Nice. Now what he needed to do was to call Belarus.

*****

He needed to do this. All for Japan. He could do this. Tonight was a start, if he could do this, Russia said he will make Japan stayed. He will provide Japan with a bigger project, especially from Russia, if he could go further, make Russia more satisfied.

He could seduce the big man.

So China used the prepared dress. Humiliating him, a dress. A Qi Bao. Russia giggled from the next room. China knew he was enjoying imaging China scowling him. The Qi Bao was pink (pink!) with white and red flowers. Beautiful. Seemed expensive. If China was a girl, he would scream in delight. He is a man, so he scowled.

He looked at the mirror. Once he put them on (suspiciously very very perfect in his body, seemed like Russia knew his exact body measurement. When did he…? A bastard), China felt like he wasn't even called China anymore. He might as good as called 'Natasha'.

(A/N: No offense. Natasha is call name for Russian prostitute. I am really sorry.)

"Jao~ have you finished … dressing, da? We have a dinner time to catch to."

China came out of the room. "Honestly, I am 33 this year, aru."

"So?" Russia was smiling, blushing, and ignoring the previous information. Just as he imagined, China was so stunningly beautiful inside the dress. China was like unpolished beauty. He was so beautiful, even in rugged clothes. So Russia's theory was, if he was so beautiful inside patches (and stunning when naked), China will look like a fairy when he was given the right accessories. "Beautiful, da."

Breathtakingly beautiful. More beautiful than his mistresses.

"come here, da." Russia held out his hand. "Why don't you wear the make up too? And the hair clips?"

"I am insulted, aru. I am not a girl. I don't know how to wear make up. I am not a … not a… "China didn't know what to say. A drag queen? What's the word?

"Pity. I prepared everything just for you. But just like this and you are already magnificent. Hmmm… let me put the hair clips."

Russia held the silky hair in his hands, and putting silver, covered by red Peony clips on China's top. China held his breath. He was being treated like a woman. If he was the old China, he wouldn't mind, he would even kissed the Russian joyfully. Because for the child China, any affection meant everything. Any affection shown will be grabbed as much as he could.

But now he is older, wiser and matured. He didn't need false affection. He has Japan, and Japan was real. So he wouldn't bulge; even when the Russian's hand was cupping his small ass. He wouldn't feel scared.

He has grown.

"Look… you are mine tonight. And I want you to be as perfect as I imagine da." Russia took his hand. "Let's enjoy this night, Jao."

* * *

i made it a habit posting two chapters at once.

but please, please... review on both? Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

I am sorry I am such an English retard. I will do my best(?) for this chapter! XD

I am sending this to my beta (thank you very much, I love you to death Farm-Story. i hope you don't mind i posted beforehand. it's because i only have limited access to internet now and the earliest i could connect again maybe 4 days from now). If you couldn't stand my grammar mistakes, then please wait eagerly for my beta to quality controlled this chapter! XD

Nevertheless, enjoy!

* * *

*****

How can a person describe his/her worst nightmare?

China held his breath. Through the dinner he could feel those hands touching him everywhere under the table. The dinner itself wasn't bad (China knew he would need his whole year's worth of wages to pay a dish; let alone appetizer and the dessert) but the thought of how it would break him if he took the wrong fork made China trembled the whole time.

He couldn't breathe normally. A person like him wasn't meant to be sitting in such a classy place. Moreover, he was being stared at by the whole floor. Lithuania was crying softly, while Belarus was bending her fork as if it was made from rubber. Others were staring, curious of Russia's new escort. An Asian, never before. Russia himself was enjoying the dinner (and the body he touched).

"How is it, Jao?"

"All I wanted is to hit your head with my wok, aru." China smiled, with tender gentle voice, "until you lost consciousness and better, your brain."

"Ah, Jao always so energetic, da?" Russia chuckled."If that happened, I wonder who will help Kiku, hmm?"

China stared at him hostile-ly. Russia smiled.

"But I hope you will put all the energy on tonight, da. I am really looking forward for it."

China gulped and choked on an asparagus. He was coughing, ignoring Russia's effort to offer him a glass of water. After he calmed down, he blamed his embarrassing moment on weird dish in front of him. He might be a chef, but he just couldn't comprehend why rich people like to pay a fortune for a stick of asparagus with some soy sauce on a piece of mini-sized meat.

Call it some art or anything, but the food was rather plain for his likings. He likes his food full of flavor.

"I see you don't have much appetite, da?" Russia smiled while signing the waiter to get the bill. "Let's proceed then?"

China nodded. He gulped down, laughing deep down on the irony of his life. People will kill for this kind of dinner, but he will pay to never get this kind of lavish dinner anymore. Every expensive dinner out he had turned out to be quite a trauma for him. Nothing good never happened from it.

And Russia was staring at him like he was seeing him naked (not sexy kind of naked—more like pork on top of the plate kind of naked dish). Nice. China held his breath. He just wished that Japan will still safely tucked at home, believing his lie about having a night out with a long-lost family member.

Maybe Japan knew he lied, but still, it worth to try.

*****

He peeled his clothes like banana. One by one. First was the clip. And Russia purposely trailed his fingers in China's hair.

"Smooth, da…"

"The broom is smoother, aru."

Russia chuckled. He yanked away the hair, making China shrieked inaudibly. He then opened the back zip of the dress, slowly.

"Smell nice, da…"

"200 yen soap, aru. I did prepare for this."

Russia laughed through his nose. China's scowls were quite funny when he didn't see the sarcasm. But he knew sarcasm and he fed on it every day. So he yanked the dress open.

The zip caught one of his hairs and pulled it off from his scalp. China yelped; but he still maintained his straight posture. Russia smiled.

"Are you strong or are you pretending to be?"

"I am, aru."

"Good. Because I don't think you can get through tonight if you are not strong, da."

China trembled. A bit, he admitted in his heart. The sentence made him belief he might not be alive to see next morning's sunrise. Russia's mind game.

"I… I have family waiting for me, a…aru! If I don't return tomorrow they will…"

"Your small dear pet? Believe me, they wouldn't miss you. Who will?"

Who will? Again, a question that sadly put China back through the same old question. Who will miss him? Who will stay by him? Who will?

No, he is strong now. China swallowed down. No more doubts. He could do this. He will do this, so he could tell himself he loves Japan. Japan will stay, and he was the first (and maybe the last) person who will stay. So everything will be, could be and should be done for him.

"He will. He will miss me, aru." China smiled. He won't give up in the Russian's game. "I believe that."

Russia gritted his teeth. "What, you love him now, da?"

"Yes, aru."

"You don't understand what you were saying, da. He was your son, your brother. That practically incest, da. You just want him to stay so that you won't be alone. You are just a cunning man, tying him down with a fantasy he wanted."

"I am not giving him fantasy. I am giving me a new chance to love him as a lover. I believe I can do that, aru."

"You don't know love, da." Russia kissed the slender neck while digging his fingernails on China's chest. "How could you? With all those sappy memories which made you weak enough to let me did you, da? Funny you can say that now. You just _think_ you can, da. You are not strong. You are weak."

No. China struggled a bit. He was not giving any fantasy. He was serious, he has changed. He wasn't thinking of coming back home (after the night) as a family now. He will go back home as Japan's lover. He could love Japan. He would not pretend he just love Japan like family again. He could face it from the front.

"I am not, aru."

"You are, da. Look, you are so weak… and fragile." Russia's hand was grabbing his neck and his cheek, pressed it a bit more to elicit pain. "I can strangle you now… but that's no fun, da?"

"Uhk…. No, aru. I can do this."

"You can't. You were always protecting yourself from further damage by lying. You lied to yourself, saying that sex is good. You made me have sex with you so the pain could make you forget your misery, da?"

"I am not! I am doing this not for myself! I am doing this for Kiku, aru!"

"Really?" Russia smirked, grabbing China's bottom. His finger was dipped into the lotion nearby, ready to enter China. "If you are doing this for Japan, he should have known you are here. I bet my life you didn't tell him, don't you? See, da? You only want to lie, saying you are doing this for him, when actually you are doing this for yourself so HE couldn't leave YOU when he knew how much you gave up for him, da?"

"I am… not, aru…"

"Be honest, Jao. I know you better than you think. I want to make love to you now, _sex_ with _love_. understand, da? So don't take me for other person." Russia dipped his hand on China's mouth _and_ his entrance. China was left with nowhere to felicitate the pain, so he bite the fingers inside his mouth as hard as he could. Russia smirked. He likes it when China responded.

"I know you were always thinking for a … particular someone, Jao." Russia kissed the smaller beauty's neck. "He was in your eyes when you saw me. It hurts, Jao, to be taken as someone else. I don't want to substitute somebody else. I am here, and that's all you need to think. The one who enter you tonight is me, Ivan Braginski. Me, da."

"…aru…"

"Forget Kiku. Forget that someone. Be one with me."

China held his breath. This is one of the reason he couldn't let Russia go from his imagination. Again, he felt so ridiculously weak. He had a childhood no one would call as 'happy'. And he had nothing near real affection, let alone someone who will stay. So when Russia was asking him to be with him; desperately trying to attract his attention made China felt 'special'. Although he knew it was just a momentary feeling until the Russia found a new toy, still… it felt good. Honestly, it felt good.

He wanted to be a person someone loved, someone treasured, a person who can believe that life wasn't supposed to be as hard as his. A person with hope to find love because he knew how good it is to be loved. Why can't he? He was trying hard, he tried to please, he worked so hard, he squeezed every affection he had for others. So why can't he get some of his affection back?

And suddenly it wasn't Russia touching him. It was England's face, with the structure he dreamt so many times before. The face he desperately hung on, the face he tried to forget reality with. With his face, anything seemed bearable. The eyebrows, the eyes, green… pretty, unlike his. It was England's fingers who entered him. It was England's body who wrapped around his. It was England.

"Look at me, Jao. I am not him."

Russia's voice made China returned to his consciousness. He remembered. All along he was pretending he was attracted to the Russian while he was actually searching England everywhere. He slept with (England faced) Russian. He was raped by an (England faced) Russian. He turned for help and got angry at an (England faced) Russian. He hasn't graduated from his childish hope. He was still in the middle of make belief fantasy that someday an England will come to him and they will live happily ever after. The England he believed will tend him lovingly unlike what he had has since he was born.

He was still the unconfident, ugly, unloved 5 years old brat he was.

"_You showed me how precious you are to me." _

_Japan. _

"_Yao… I am here to fetch you."_

Japan.

"_Sorry, Yao… I won't leave you anymore."_

Japan!

"NOO!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!" China screamed. Russia was surprised, he let go off his hand. China took the chance to run. He wouldn't want Russia to touch him. He wouldn't want anybody else to touch him. Only Japan, and Japan only. He should have realized that. He loves Japan; not as family, but as lover. He was just afraid Japan will turn to be another England if he be honest to himself. So China reasoned that his love was 'family love' while it was actually real.

Sleeping with Japan was the only time when he saw a face other than England's.

So much of telling himself he could make it real love. It was love all along, China was just afraid to admit it. Otherwise, how could he stay with Japan, even after the boy raped him (slept with him against his will)? He was too conceited and spoiled by Japan's love. He was trying to run from a love he wanted so much.

"Kiku…Kiku!!!" China screamed, opening the door. He wouldn't care much about his current condition (naked; he was only wearing the towel he grabbed from the chair before, bare footed; he had no shoes on). All he wanted was to go and meet Japan and apologized and told him his real feeling. He could finally come in term with his real feeling.

And he was shocked to see the boy stood in front of the room door. It was the highest floor mansion; Japan wouldn't have the permission to even enter the apartment gate.

"Ki…ku?" China gasped. Why was he there? Since when? How long? He knew?

"I am here to take you back, Yao." Japan wasn't smiling, he was almost crying. "I… I know you are here because you want to help me, but… stop this. Stop protecting me. You hurt me more with this. I get it you don't want me as your lover. You can only see me as your child forever. I am sorry I pushed my feeling on you. So I will call you Yao-nii again start from now on. I am sorry. So… please come back? Please come back to our home?"

"Kiku… I am sorry aru, don't cry, I wasn't…"

"Don't apologize, Yao… nii. I don't want to burden you anymore. Yao… nii… I…was told by Belarus-san that you were here. And she gave me just half an hour to go before she came here by herself to take back Ivan-san. So… let's go."

"NO!" China shouted, much to Japan's surprise. Russia came to the door, after putting on his pants. China didn't care, and the next moment he was kissing Japan like there was no tomorrow.

Japan didn't respond. China stopped kissing the boy, grabbing his clothes.

"Why? Why didn't you respond, aru?"

"… You don't want to kiss me. Ivan-san is behind you, Yao nii… so… maybe I will try to stop Belarus…"

"NO! aru, listen! I love you! I want to kiss you! Not that man, not England, you! YOU aru!!!"

"Yao nii…"

"Don't call me Yao-nii again! Call my name, Kiku! Call me! Now I am clear and I know I must fight! I wasn't honest with myself, I never fight for myself. I always let go everything I wanted once they don't want me. I should have fought over it, but I gave up because I was afraid that even if I fight nobody will stay! But now I want you to stay, and I will fight and I will make you stay!!! Aru, Kiku, Japan, I Love you!!!!"

Japan swallowed down, his temperature started to rise. He started to blush. Russia sunk to a despair he never knew.

"Jao…"

"I am sorry, Ivan." China spoke softly, turning back to meet Russia's eyes. "I don't want you. But thank you. Thank you very much. Because you have always helped me… and you showed me my weaknesses. I am indebted you, aru. But that's all. Thank you."

"You think I can receive that answer, da? NOW?" Russia exploded, ready to grab China back into his room when Japan covered China with his own body. Russia was against touching people he doesn't want, so he pulled back. "I want you to come back in, now, da."

"Ivan, you don't want me. You want your pride. You don't even like me. It wasn't love, it is lust, aru. You want my body but you don't want my emotional baggage. What am I different from a fuck doll then? Admit it, you don't love me. And you don't need me. You can satisfy your lust with somebody… maybe Belarus, if she comes later on, aru."

Russia scowled. "I do love you, da. I think of you."

"When you were turned on. I am an imaginary woman for you. Wake up, aru."

"I do love you, da! I DO!!!"

China grabbed Japan's hand, ignoring the statement.

"Can we go home, aru?"

"Jao!" Russia didn't want to admit he lost. "If you go, I will make sure Japan wouldn't have any more jobs!"

"It's fine." Japan spoke sternly. "I would go somewhere else where I can support Yao by myself. I don't want your pity, Ivan-san. I want to own Yao completely, and I don't want to share him with the likes of you." To China, Japan smiled. "Sorry, Yao. I think we should move. So… would you resign?"

China stared at his lover, finally smiled. "Yes, I don't mind, aru. I can cook anywhere else. I want to be with you, aru."

Russia was desperately trying to stop, but he didn't know what to do. He just silently stared at the two men who walked to the lift.

* * *

A/N: This story is getting out of hand. But it's fine since it's almost over. The next chapter is the last ~ ( i like odd number. ODD.)

And I don't get my own Christmas present, hiks. So give me review? LOL!

Ah, the (supposed to be sexy, sensual, lust) final scene turned out to be a massage parlor… XD!


	9. Chapter 9

"You sure you want this, Yao?" Japan looked worriedly at China, who was pale and trembling. But China was stern, and he had prepared this meeting since a week ago. Since the night with Russia.

Japan was quite… shocked. He was happy China had returned his feeling. He felt he was dependable when China started to tell him everything, memories from his childhood, his feelings, his dislikes and likes, also the tale with England. Japan felt like a man when China snuggled inside his arms and rocked himself back and forward. China has become so childish in a week. China was asking every moment Japan had to spoil him. And Japan gladly fulfilled the wish.

So when suddenly China said he needed to meet England, Japan was surprised (and scared).

But it's fine. China wouldn't run anymore. So there they were, standing hand in hand in front of room 402. A good, modest apartment. More expensive than theirs, located near a police station China feared.

China pushed the bell.

"Yes? Please wait a moment." A sound coming from inside, and a man opened the door.

Japan locked on his sight on the man. Taller than him, just a bit. Blonde, western like. Thick eyebrows. Green eyed. No, Japan was more handsome than the man, he told himself. He won.

Because he loves China more than the man.

"… Arthur, aru… how are you…?" China asked the first ice breaker question. England was surprised, shocked, stunned and too polite to close the door in front of a guest's nose, so he answered back.

"I.. I am good. How are you… Yao?"

"I… I am good, aru."

Then silence followed. Like any other British, he attempted to say something about the weather that day, but then again, England couldn't move his mouth. But suddenly a man came from England's back. The man was taller than any of them, blonde, with glasses, muscular and big. He grinned.

"Ah, the cute chef last time! You know him, Artie?"

"Don't call me that, you moron!" England shouted, blushing red. China saw the blush, and he smiled.

"I see that you are happy, now, aru. I am glad." China spoke while grabbing Japan's hand tightly. "I am here to say… thank you and sorry, aru."

"…Yao?" England held his breath. The memory was still fresh. He asked the small boy to leave, even though the boy made no mistake, making the (previously blushing and smiling) boy went pale and stared soullessly at his soup. The boy didn't even look at him when he bowed down so low and went away from the restaurant's door. England never saw him again after that, but the image haunted him. He felt so guilty it hurts.

"I am sorry too, I …"

"No, let me finish, aru. I am glad I met you. You saved me when I was small and again you saved me when I was desperate. You were too kind to reject me. I am sorry I pushed you into uncomfortable condition. I am sorry I did blame you for everything. I am sorry I always used you to make myself feel better. But I am thankful because the image of you had helped me through my past. Thank you, and…. Good bye, Arthur. Let me graduate from you, aru."

England nodded. He needed to apologize too, but he couldn't. China bowed down, leaving the door. Japan followed him after politely bow to the couple by the door.

America sighed. "Is he the boy you always told me?"

"…yes."

"He is not as weak as you told me, Artie. He is strong. Maybe even stronger than you."

"Yes, he had matured." England smiled. "I am glad he does. He had found someone he loved better than me. Good for him."

"Yes. And you can forgive yourself now." America kissed his lover's hair. "By the way… the scone is burning."

"WHAT? You moron! Help me put out the scones from the oven!!!"

******

China was sobbing inside his arms. Japan looked up, and stared at the sky. He couldn't say anything and China didn't want him to. So he let China cried as much as he wanted.

His resignation wasn't accepted by France. Apparently the directors wanted him back; they even offered him a rise and a double bonus (Japan sighed; he was only an intern. What he needed more was a secure place in the company). But Japan knew he couldn't take that because it would be like accepting a gift from his enemy. He had decided to move to the village, where green was still natural green and the tallest thing around was trees and not skyscrapers. He had checked and he could buy a small land. He would become a farmer and China will help him. That way China will work all he likes while Japan could support for both of them.

China had done what he needed to do. It's now his turn.

"Yao…"

"…" China was busy sobbing, ignoring his name being called.

"… Would you… marry me?"

The sobs stopped and China looked up.

"But… hiks, aru… we are… already… hiks, aru… under the same family reigst…hiks, aru… ration."

Japan stopped blushing. He started to laugh. China smiled, asking, "What are you laughing at, aru?"

"No, it seemed like we had married from the start." Japan laughed. "Funny how this all turn out."

*****

END

Russia? Don't ask me. I don't know. Maybe he is enjoying his bed with Belarus and Lithuania (threesome?)

The rating is changed. Thank you for reminding me. I am sorry for inconvenient I have caused.


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